How To Control Stress Before It Controls You

Stress is a fundamental part of life. We all feel it from time to time. It can be uncomfortable and can invade our lives at the most inopportune moments.

But what is stress, why do we get stressed and how does it affect us?

More importantly, what can we do to control it?

What is stress?

Stress can be defined as a mental, emotional or physical pressure that can have both a positive and negative effect on our mind or body or both. It occurs as a response to a stressor.

Stressors vary from person to person but can include presenting, confrontation, the loss of someone we love or being in stressful environments for long periods of time. In a time specific sense stress can be classed as either immediate, medium-term or chronic. Immediate stress occurs in response to an acute threat or challenge. Medium-term stress occurs when there are sustained pressures such as financial worries or relationship problems. Chronic stress arises from ongoing, lengthy challenges such as continuous family conflict or incessant work overload. While it's true that too much stress can be detrimental to our health, a little bit of stress can actually be helpful. For example, stress can help us to stay alert, focused and can motivate us to do our best.

Why do we get stressed?

We have all experienced that feeling of being stressed. It can be a very subjective and personal experience. But why is it that we get stressed?

The human body and mind are connected in many ways, emotions being the most profound of these connections. When we feel like we are under pressure it can be very hard to control the emotional response that follows. The psychological interpretation of the bodily response is what we perceive as stress.

There are many different reasons why people experience stress. It can be due to a major life event such as a relationship break-up or losing a job. It can also be due to minor everyday things such as being stuck in traffic or running late.

Stress can be caused by physical factors such as ill health or chronic pain or it can be compounded further by mental health problems such as anxiety or depression.

Whatever the cause, it's important to remember that stress is a normal response that everyone experiences at some point in their lives.

How does stress affect us?

Our bodies respond to stress in a number of different ways. Adrenaline and cortisol are released into the bloodstream, these hormones increase our heart rate, our blood pressure and quicken our respiration. This effectively prepares us for the fight or flight response.

We experience a build up of carbon dioxide which leads to feelings of agitation throughout the body. We start to sweat profusely which in turn helps to cool our bodies down and enable them to work for longer. Our digestive, reproductive and excretal systems effectively go into standby mode and our pupils dilate so that we are better able to pinpoint something in our visual field.

These are powerful physiological feelings but the mental effects of stress can also be substantial.

Immediate stress is usually short-lived but acutely intense and can lead to feelings of anxiety. Some people suffer full blown panic attacks.

Medium-term and chronic stress last for a much longer period of time. They tend to produce a less intense but prolonged level of underlying anxiety. This prolongation can lead to sleep deprivation, the desire for solitude, poor concentration and mental health issues. Severe cases can lead to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Therefore it's vitally important that we are able to control our stress.

What can we do to control stress?

There are certainly things we shouldn’t try to do such as telling ourselves or someone else to calm down. This really doesn’t work and actually serves to exacerbate the problem. There are techniques that can help us to regulate stress such as meditation, breath-work, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), neuro linguistic programming (NLP), tapping and supplementation. Additionally, frequent exercise, good nutrition and deep relaxation are among the cornerstones of stress management.

There are however some specific tools we can use to control stress that are very powerful.

One such tool is the physiological sigh. The Physiological Sigh

This is the best method to use when experiencing an immediately stressful moment. It makes use of the direct feed into our autonomic system and is classed as a bottom up approach to managing stress as opposed to a top down approach. In other words we use the body to help control the mind and not vice versa.

The physiological sigh can be used purposefully to help regulate our stress emotion.

It entails inhaling twice through the nose followed by an exhale through the mouth. The second inhale should be sharper than the first and the exhale needs to be extended.

The most optimal way to perform the physiological sigh is to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. However, it can be performed through either.

The effects of the sigh are felt quite quickly although the heart rate may take 30 seconds or so to return to normal. You may need to repeat this process a few times to arrive back to the 'rest and digest' state.

The physiological sigh is a real tool that can be used in real time to combat immediate stress.

Lateral Eye Movement

Lateral eye movement is another tool that can be used to control stress. This type of eye movement helps to suppress the amygdala (our threat detection system) and dampen our emotional response. It also facilitates a more panoramic view which helps us when we start to experience tunnel vision.

The reason that lateral eye movement is so powerful as a stress control tool is that it simulates the optic motion we experience when we are physically walking towards something.

The important fact to understand here is that moving towards a particular fear or stressor actively reduces the fear response. Conversely, backing away from a particular fear or stressor encourages a greater fear response.

The technique involves moving the eyes from side to side in a lateral motion. This should be performed for approximately 15 - 30 seconds.

Stress Inoculation

Connected to the above concept of moving towards fear, stress inoculation is another powerful tool that we can use to help control stress. Exposing ourselves incrementally and systematically to a particular stressor will build tolerance to that stressor.

For example someone who has a fear of snakes might follow a stress exposure protocol similar to the below:

Step 1 - visualise a snake in your mind and hold it there for a few seconds

Step 2 - look at a photo of a snake holding your gaze for 30 seconds

Step 3 - watch a video of a snake to ascertain movement and sound

Step 4 - go to a zoo and observe a snake through an enclosure

Step 5 - place yourself in the same room as a snake

Step 6 - stand within the immediate vicinity of a snake

Step 7 - touch the snake briefly

Step 8 - hold the snake

This is a very simplified example of a stress inoculation protocol to allow you to understand the fundamental aspects of the concept.

Each of the above steps would need to be conducted individually over a given period of time. One generally wouldn't cycle immediately from one step to the next. Deliberately pausing between step allows internalisation to take place. This method would likely need to be repeated over a number of cycles to be successful.

Acclimating to the feeling of stress and dissociating the mind from the body enables us to become more relaxed in a stressful environment. It makes difficult things more bearable.

Interestingly, when we overcome a particular fear it's not because we become less afraid but because we become braver.

Social Connection Science points to social connection as being an extremely helpful method for dealing with stress. Positive social connection causes serotonin to be released within our bodies. Serotonin helps us to regulate our emotions and accentuate our happiness.

A famous study carried out in the United States - the Harvard Grant study - concluded that:

Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives [...] Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes. [...]

In recent times we've become more and more inclined to interact with people remotely. This is not true social connection.

Gratitude

Expressing gratitude has been shown to have real world, tangible benefits when it comes to controlling stress. It encourages the release of serotonin and dopamine which help us to be more positive, more resilient and happier overall.

We sleep better and are therefore more rested. Our cognition and perception become stronger so we are more focused. We show more compassion and kindness to others and are better able to deal with life's adversities.

Taking time to reflect on all of the things we should be grateful for leads to a greater appreciation of life.

Removal From Stressful Situations

Some of the techniques I've illustrated focus on confronting and moving towards a particular fear or situation. However, there are times when the most appropriate course of action we can take to reduce or eliminate stress is to remove ourselves from the situation.

This may mean ending a friendship, leaving a relationship, quitting a job or even moving to another area. Deciding whether it is worth your time and effort being in a stressful environment will be dependant on your own individual circumstances.

Key takeaways

As the complexities of modern day life continue to contribute towards elevated stress levels, it's never been more important to be able to control stress.

So what are the key takeaways from this post and what is it that you can adopt that will help you to deal with stress?

You should already be physically active multiple times per week.

You should already be indulging in healthy eating behaviours ensuring that at the very least you're aware of your calorie and nutrient consumption.

You should also be prioritising your relaxation, in particular your sleep quality.

If these are not already fully ingrained aspects of your life then make them a priority, no excuses.

In an effort to become better at managing stress myself I also try to internalise the below:

• Stress is a normal response that we all experience at some point in our lives

• There’s nothing wrong with you because you feel stressed

• Don't try to use the mind to control the mind

• Use the body to support the mind when faced with stressful experiences

• Increase your tolerance to stress, it increases your own personal power

• Social connection beats social media… always

• Remove yourself from stressful environments when appropriate

• Proactively manage your stress, it leads to greater longevity

For an example of how to perform the physiological sigh please watch the video below.

If you're feeling overwhelmed with stress, make sure to reach out to a friend or family member for support. It's important to remember, you're not alone, stress is a normal part of life that affects us all.

For a more detailed and eloquent explanation of stress watch the Andrew Huberman YouTube podcast. Andrew is a professor of Neurobiology and Ophthalmology at Stanford University and a fantastic resource for health related content.

If you’re interested in improving your health then please do get in touch!

Michael East

ME LIFE